Sunday, April 08, 2007


The Most Perfect Eating Machine Ever Devised

A Happy Easter to all of you at home! Richard and I are just off for dinner with family, but he’s already given me something edible this morning – yes, after last year’s rival Dalek and TARDIS eggs, M&S have this year produced a larger black Dalek Sec Easter Egg, as well as one of the two competing Dalek double-egg-cups this season (strange idea, I know). It’s the big one that’s impressive, though. Not just the photo-illustrated sloping shape, but that it’s a Dalek casing with something “Organic” within: surely that makes it the most accurate Dalek model yet released? And, if you press the little button at the bottom, it shrieks “Exterminate!” Or, indeed, if you have it in a shopping bag and jolt it the merest smidgeon, causing all your fellow train passengers to jump…

Meanwhile, Millennium has permitted Richard to review the first Doctor Who episode to feature the words “Elephant” and “Millennium”.

Incidentally, as well as enjoying Doctor Who, we recorded Doctor Who Confidential and watched something else while it was on last night – blasphemy, I know, but we were strangely intrigued by Any Dream Will Do. All that back-to-back trailering with the Doctor Who Theme, and with John Barrowman, had clearly wormed its evil way into my psyche.

Three things struck me about it. One is that the scene where, of all the judges, John Barrowman is chosen to walk among the poor young men singing their hearts out and tap them on the shoulder to announce their doom. Aside from the torture all the lads were going through, John’s nobly suffering expression as he carried out their executions – ‘I have to be the Angel of Death because I know It Must Be Done, and I must stand above mere mortal emotion to do my terrible but necessary duty’ – was so exactly that of Captain Jack in Torchwood that I wondered if he’d been given that task purely because his other famous role would add subliminal extra weight to it. Then there’s the young man who, while as handsome as most of them, seemed so preternaturally pale that, with his black hair and dark eyes, it may have been unwise for him to dress in black with a ghostly white shirt like grave clothes adding to his vampiric appearance (well, we had just seen the second vampiric alien in two weeks in the preceding Doctor Who episode). When he swapped this for one with thick red and purple stripes, it was very difficult not to think ‘Blood!’ He needs building up. I recommend a chocolate Dalek. My last observation is that the oldest judge (a heavy grey-haired man with an evil smile) reminds of Anthony Zerbe, so I expect him to be revealed as the villain in the last episode. Possibly by Columbo.

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