Time and the Rani Vs Bananarama

“I have the Loyhargil – nothing can stop me now!”

Celebrating today’s release of Doctor Who: The Collection – Season 24 Blu-ray, I’ve been transported back to the time with a tune in my head that just won’t stop: Nathan Jones by Bananarama, with a very different chorus. 

Doctor Who: The Collection – Season 24 Blu-ray cover: the Doctor (Sylvester McCoy), in cream jacket and hat, bearing spoons, framing the Rani and a set of monsters

I’ve been trying to write something very serious and meaningful that ties in to the far end of Sylv as the Doctor. That’s grinding very slowly, so here’s something very silly and shallow tying in to the beginning of Sylv as the Doctor instead.

“Leave the Girl – It’s the Man I Want!” Season 24 titles triumphant in 67 varieties by  @paulxdesign (badgewolf on Redbubble)

Subtitle for missing graphic: In the absence of any skill with Photoshop, imagine I’ve done a Bananarama single with the heads replaced by Mary Tamm, Lalla Ward and Kate O’Mara. I haven’t, but you can imagine it.

Nathan Jones single, back cover – Bananarama strike an X-pose! Keren Woodward and Sara Dallin (heads up) and, in the middle, the other one (Jacquie O'Sullivan, head down)

Play loud!

Time and the Rani By Romanabarmikarma

You sacked your man, as I recall

When ratings slowly down they fall

You said that you’d be back someday to relaunch fine

And all you needed was just a little Time [Lord]

Woah, Summer’s passed, you’re back this Fall

Time and the Rani [Oh Heaven help me] – exploding balls!

Doctor Who – at last you’re back on 

Doctor Who – at last you’re back on 

If a fanboy could die of fear

Colin cancelled, a well of tears

It seems that you’re folding – where’s the encore?

Was there no room on the box for you no more?

Woah! Sylv is cast, and I’m enthralled

(Though against Corrie [How very sorry] you can’t walk tall)

Doctor Who – at last you’re back on 

Doctor Who – at last you’re back on 

Doctor Who – at last you’re back on 

Doctor Who – at last you’re back on 

[Spoon crashes: Ur-ak! Bring me Loyhargil!]

[Spoon crashes: Ur-ak! Bring me Loyhargil!]

[Spoon crashes: Ur-ak! Bring me Loyhargil!]

Woah!

[Spoon crashes: Ur-ak! Bring me Loyhargil!]

Woah, Summer’s passed, you’re back this Fall

Time and the Rani [Oh Heaven help me] – exploding balls!

Doctor Who – at last you’re back on 

Doctor Who – at last you’re back on 

Michael Grade – You’ve been wrong too long

Michael Grade – You’ve been wrong too long…

“Loyhargil!” The Rani in orgasmic triumph

Forthcoming hits by Romanabarmikarma include:

I Heard a Cleaner (Yellow Kangs Are Best)

Quite Relaxed Summer (If You Ignore the Genocide)

Love in the Minus-a-hundred-and-ninety-third Degree

Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Skaro Goodbye

Every Shade of Pink aka Really Saying Something

It Ain’t Very New (It’ll Do, So Screw It)

Shy Fanboy

Nicholas Courtney’s Waiting… (Let’s Get A Round In)

Creature Man

Love, Faith and Haemovores 

Look At My Eyes (Hypnotic Master) aka Cheers Then

And after that…

I Want You Back.

Romanabarmikarma Hits – an irresistible mix of Bananarama and Keff McCulloch. You can check the real titles against my puns.

Though if you really want Doctor Who in the charts – well, the next year it’s the KLF, obviously. But the year after there’s New Order: Round and Round, the first 20 seconds of which sound so like a Keff McCulloch tribute band it’s like licking a polychromatic lizard explosion.