Thursday, May 22, 2008


Tories Ready For Government Shocker!

The Conservatives yesterday aimed to show the voters of Crewe and Nantwich they can do anything the Labour Government can do by recklessly scattering the personal data of eight thousand constituents. They’ve still got a long way to go before they beat Labour’s record for dangerous data dispersal – Labour’s record-breaking attempt last year being a staggering twenty-five million people, at the time* the worst data disaster in the history of the world – but given that the Tories aren’t even in government, a mess-up of this order certainly shows ambition for what they could do if they get there. I suspect this shows the Tories’ internet guru is still hard at work.

Hat-tip: Darrell Goodliffe and his invisible spectacles.

*Labour’s record for data negligence has apparently since been superseded by the Italian Government. Yes, I know – technology moves on so quickly! Never a party to have a lack of ambition for crazed control-freakery, nor one to let a record of utter and dangerous technical incompetence get in their way, the Labour Government this week announced plans to regain their crown as the most lunatic, bossy, personal-detail-careless government on Earth by setting up a new database to record every phone call and e-mail made in the country. The possibilities are endless: newspapers will think it’s Christmas to have all the spying information they want in one easy-to-bribe-or-break-into place; the Government will probably send the entire database to every UK e-mail address in one easy-to-download 8 million terabyte file; and once Labour start sending details of internet usage to teenagers’ mums and exact phone call listings to spouses up and down the country, not only will Mr Berlusconi have his work cut out to catch up, but recession will be averted by the extra revenue generated for divorce courts.

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Scary footnote. Considerably more scary than the actual article ...

"one easy-to-download 8 million terabyte file" ... surely 8 exabytes, then? ;-)
finally got round to reading your blog, Alex! grim grim the corruption of the world, made slightly tolerable by the fact that people like you are wonderfully canny and rude about it all :)and I say... can you write! scintillating terabytes!
I’m sure you’re right, Jonny (and happy birthday!) – but I thought my way of describing Mr Brown’s plan to clog up every e-mail account in the land sounded bigger…

And lovely to hear from you, Ben! You write well, too ;-)
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