Love and Liberty

The Conservatives now have two whole policies: giving massive inheritance tax cuts to millionaires; offering tiny tax advantages for marriage*. But what values link these two ideas?

For example, Liberal Democrat plans to close tax loopholes for the richest, tax pollution and tax multi-million mansions will fund tax cuts of £700 for everyone on low and middle incomes (so you can make your own choices, unlike the Tory tax punishment if you don’t follow their ‘approved’ lifestyle). Those aren’t four separate tax proposals: they’re all part of one purpose. Fairness.

So I’ve worked out the secret motive behind Tory taxes. Why give hush money to a battered wife to stay with her abusive husband? Why give a tax reward to the philanderer who runs off and gets a new spouse, but rob the old one left behind with the kids? Why should it be the government’s business to tell you how to live your life anyway? And perhaps most cruelly of all, why punish you when the love of your life dies?

Maybe the Tories are so overcome by the excitement of gaining the opportunity to turn the clock back to Dickensian times that they’ve come up with a whole tax structure with one overriding purpose: to act like a villain in a Victorian melodrama and grind down poor widows.




I’m not good at fitting words into a limited space, am I? Bet I’d be rubbish at Twitter. Hmm…

And there are many more where I knocked that one together.


*May not include most marriages. Your marriage may not matter as much to the Conservatives as others. Unlike ordinary people’s marriage plans, Mr Cameron’s is only a “hope”, not a “commitment”. Please check terms and conditions on all Conservative “promises”. Terms and conditions not provided.

Labels: Conservatives, Liberal Democrats, Meddling In Things That Are Nobody's Business But Your Own, Memes, Pictures, Tax