Friday, January 16, 2009


Why Mr Churchill Is A Better Prime Minister Than Mr Brown (Number 5069 in a Series of Eight Million)

Watching tonight’s QI, in which Mr Stephen Fry has been visibly straining (and failing) not to mock Pam Ayres, there was a discussion of bearskins – you know, the big, stiff, furry things associated with a guardsman and head. Anyway, the conversation turned to the remarkable number of guardsmen caught in thoroughly interesting positions in the 1950s. Apparently, one morning Winston Churchill was woken by a Prime Ministerial aide, who nervously informed him that a backbench MP had been arrested in the bushes with a guardsman, and that the newspapers had got hold of it (as, presumably, had the soldier).

Mr Churchill ruminated for a moment, and then asked whether he was right in thinking that it had been particularly cold the previous night. The aide shakily confirmed that it had been one of the coldest February nights on record. Before turning over and going back to sleep, the Prime Minister exclaimed,
“Makes you proud to be British!”
Likelihood of the dour, Puritan, killjoy, bullying, Mr-Ban-Everything current occupant of Number Ten saying anything of the sort: nil.

Now I must buckle down and attempt to finish my review of tonight’s jolly entertaining episode of The New Avengers, up on BBC4 at midnight. Though tragically naked guardsman-free, on the bright side it not only makes you proud to be British (or better-disposed if you’re not), but it’s quite a nippy night and you can stay in for it.

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I boycotted this week's QI because it had Johnny Vegas on it, and I refuse to watch anything with him in it, because he thinks that sexually assaulting people live on stage is funny.

Which is a shame, because I'd like to see the interaction between S Fry and Pam Ayres.
I wouldn't choose to watch something with him in it for the same reason - and because I didn't think he was funny before I had reason to think he was repulsive - but he's so ubiquitous that I wouldn't avoid something that but for him I'd otherwise watch (Bleak House, say). He's always a waste of space on QI, though... I fear Pam Ayres didn't entirely work, either.

But it was all worth it for Mr Fry's shagging in the bushes anecdote. I'm sure I've heard it before, but I'd forgotten the details, so was happily prompted to record it.
I avoid him, and tell the BBC I am doing so, because that way they might stop employing him.
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